CONVERSATION 3 0F 3 PARTS AND A MESSAGE FROM MY STEPFATHER

I apologized for removing the recorded conversation due to a family member's request,who I highly respect.



I really appreciate the people that really understand my point and I assure you all that I am not putting my mom down. I am only trying to help her shape-up, because I do have concern for her. I really love my mom and If I didn't, I would not bother finding a way to stop her from destroying her life. Some people might not agree with me by making a blog about her, but for me this is the best alternative way, because this way not only will my message reach her, It will also help people understand on how to be concern to a mother or anyone, and it might encourage people on how to help someone with their own personal problem with any bad habits they may have.

I had also posted my stepfather's short message telling me to stop my mom from gambling and her uncontrollable spending for you all to understand that I am not alone with my mission. My mom's problem has to stop from here, and keep in mind that I am not trying to dictate her, but I am merely trying to help her with her situation.


TOMORROW I WILL POST MY LETTER AND MY PERSONAL VIDEO FOR MY MOM.

CONVERSATION 2 OF 3 PARTS

I apologized for removing the recorded conversation, due to a family member's request, who I highly respect.

I hope that viewers of this blog will understand that I am merely trying to make a point and showing you all the facts of my blog, and this is not defamation for my mom. This is a therapy for her and myself and you will understand my point at the end. The truth shall set us all free and rehabilitated.

MY RESPONSE TO MY AUNTIE MARILOU

Dear Tita Marilou,

I really appreciate all the support that I’m getting from all of you (Herrera Clan). You are absolutely right about my mom finding something else to do instead of wasting her money and time gambling. The problem is, she has been gambling since 2005 and we all tried to stop her but she never listen to anybody. Especially this year before my brother died, she is getting worst and out of control. That’s why last June 30th my plan was to convince her to stop gambling and prepare for her future instead, but she refused. I like your Idea of getting involved with a good charity, and I was planning that for myself before this entire problem that I had to experience for now. It’s really hard for me to find a job here in the Philippines since I’m only a high school graduate and without any experience working here in the Philippines. That is why I wanted to convince my mom to opened up a business that I could be involve, but she is very selfish and she never had any belief in me ever since, so how can I solve my own personal problem in regards to finding work? That is a very complicated situation for me. Anyway, thank you very much again for your support since I was a kid. You had been like a mom to me all the time.


I LOVE YOU TOO,
DANNYBOY

"MY AUNTIE MARILOU's LETTER"

Dear Danny Boy,


It's too bad that Ate Aida has a gambling problem. She is the only one that can solve her problem before it's too late. My advice to her is to stay away from casinos and find other ways to spend her time. She should be more productive than destructive. I know that it is hard to find a job but at least she should try to look for a job or go into business to make money. Another way is to spend time with you, her grand kids, friends and relatives so she can get her mind off gambling. Even better, if she can, she should help the needy by volunteering in church or other charitable institutions.

I am crying while I'm writing this email because I remember that when I was about 7 -10 years old, I lived with your Dad and your Mom for a little while. I helped your Mom sell fresh fish at a palengke in Pandacan. I really enjoyed going to the palengke with her. Please tell your Mom that after all these years, I still think about the good times that we spent together!

I really feel your Mom's pain! I think that the worst thing that can happen to a mother is lose a child. But she should not turn to gambling as means of forgetting her tragedy!

I will pray for your Mom, you and all our relatives there in the Philippines. Every time I pray to God for help, I know that God listens! But in order for God to help us we also have to help ourselves.

I love you!

Tita Marilou

CONVERSATION 1 of 3 parts

I apologized for removing the recorded conversation, due to a family member's request, who I highly respect.


This conversation that my mom and I had on June 30th was recorded for the purpose of reminding her in the future to whatever agreement we shall have upon. Unfortunately, the conversation did not turn out the way supposed to be. Instead, she showed me again that whatever I do or suggest is not important to her, and has always been like that ever since. That day, I was hoping that she would compromise with me and I was hoping that my comfort will be important to her, since my brother died recently. All I wanted was to change herself and to prepare for her future, because she is getting out of control with her gambling and her constant borrowing a lot of money from different people just to support her gambling addiction. I got out of control yelling at her, because she would not listen or compromise with me. I know I was wrong to yell at her, but I could not help myself anymore, because I am trying so hard to get through her head to wake her up from reality. I’m like person trying so hard talking to a drug addict that’s getting out of control. That day, she really proved that she never really loved me at all, and that I am not important to her. Even though how hard she pushes me away from her, I will keep on chasing her and I will not give up until she straighten up her life, even If I shall not gain her love.

"LONELY"

I get really depressed in the middle of the night and sometimes I cry, because I feel so lonely living alone and because I’m in this situation. I have nobody to talk to or to comfort me at least so I can forget about my situation. It is so hard for me to believe that my mom could stand to forget about me and not love me at all. She could not see the good things I want to accomplish for her; instead she only cares for herself. She has lost me for years because my dad brought me to America, but now that I am back to be by her side, she has no interest in me or whatsoever. Sometimes I feel just ending my life to remove the pain in my heart, but I hesitate to do so, because I still have a mission. I always wonder how long I have to sacrifice, because when my brother was alive my mom loved him so much and she only focus on him. Her world only revolved on my brother, which all her relatives knows it and proud of It. I am not mad or jealous of my brother, because I loved him very much, but I deserved to be loved by my mom as well specially that I was gone for so long. I guess that I just have to take it one day at a time to be strong and not give up no matter what I have to go through my love for her will never change.

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

People probably think that I have a problem with people gambling. As long as the person knows how to control to do “ANYTHING”, I don’t have a problem with people gambling or to do whatever they like to enjoy. Everyone is entitled to a pursuit of happiness to do whatever they enjoy or for their career as long as the person is not taking their life down the drain or affecting the people who loved them.

"I WISH"

I wish that I was raised by my mom, and I wish that I had a regular mom who cares and loves me. Neither my dad was not a perfect father, because he was always never around. While growing up, I was raised by my grandmother and my auntie (dad's younger sister) which I'm very thankful and love them both so much. But, when my aunt got married she had to separate from us (dad and I) to start her own family, which my grandmother had to stay by her side to look after my cousins. That's when I turned to rebel and no one was around to look after me. I was always hanging around with my friends and I was going the wrong directions In my life. My past has always been a rollercoaster, and I don't want to be In that situation anymore. By helping my mom to be a better person, I'm also learning how to become one.

"BEING DEPRESSED"

This photo was taken while I was thinking and being depressed. I’m so pathetic, because I’m in this situation, trying to make a point to my mom. I sacrifice myself just to try to put my moms head straight. I’m only a son trying so hard to do what is best for a mom.

If I did not confronted my mom, I would have a home with a bed, 3 meals a day, a maid, and all the necessities I need, but instead, I chose to go the other way just to make a point to my mom. I don’t know what will happen and I don’t know how long that I would be in this situation, because my mom is very stubborn and has a pride. Even though my mom did not raise me and I was deprived of love, I would still do what is best for her as a son would do for his mom. I don’t know why after she showed me her less affection for me, I’m still chasing her around for unconditional love. I guess maybe because I grew up without a mom, that is why I’m still searching for the missing part in my life. “THE LOVE THAT A MOTHER COULD GIVE TO A CHILD” that I’m hoping.

"BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT"

I received an email from my aunt telling me to leave my mom alone and just let her realized herself her own mistakes. I said to my aunt, I’ve been there and done that twice with my dad, and I will not stand around and let her do that to her.

After my mom and dad got separated when I was 6yrs old, my dad work hard to build his own car dealership and we became rich by the time I was 9yrs old. We were living the good life back then and we had everything and my dad had famous friends. My dad never thought that he would have a down fall, because he was so confident that we will never go poor. Until, we started to lose everything, because he was a compulsive gambler, and we lost our house and my dad started to sell our possessions, until one day he had no choice but to sell our business. My dad owed money from banks and individual people, and he was devastated because we were going broke. So my dad decided to move to California USA to avoid being sued by the people he owed. So he worked hard as a car salesman until he became an area manager and my dad started to come up. One day my dad bought a big house and we were living the good life and he was so confident that we will never have a down fall again. Until one day, we lost our house and furniture’s because of his gambling habits once more. So we moved to another house that he rented, but that didn’t last long either. After a few months we had to move again, because he could not afford the rent anymore and he had no control over his gambling and he did not care about our future anymore. So he end up moving in with my aunt and grandmother and I decided to get married young just to start my own life away from my dad.

After my dad died and I had no luck in California anymore, I went back to the Philippines. I was then living the good life, but simple with my wife and daughters, and on the other hand my mom was doing well, living the good life almost similar to the life that my dad had before in the Philippines, because she’s a real estate agent and in construction business. I was glad the life that my mom has, but there was something wrong about my mom. My mom became a compulsive frustrated gambler since 2005. At first, I was doing nothing to stop her from gambling so she could enjoy her life, and because my younger brother was around to control her anyway. On Feb 5th, 2008, I got separated from my wife due to irreconcilable difference, so I moved in with my mom. It was then I realized and found out that my mom’s lifestyle was not right and she started to owed large amount of money from different people. I know that if she don’t wake up from reality and don’t stop gambling she will end up like my dad. On May 19th 2008, my younger brother died and my mom got even worst and still did not stop gambling and kept searching to borrow large amount of money from people just to support her gambling habits. We did not spoke to each other since my brother died, until one day on June 30, 2008; I had enough of her attitude. I spoke to her to try to change her life for her future and because enough was enough. I will not stand around again doing nothing about her attitude and gambling like with my dad when I was young and helpless.

I have learned a lot from my past and still teaching myself how to become a better person. Right now, my mom needs help that is why I’m doing my best to make her change to become a better person. By doing that, I’m also teaching and learning something for myself. I just hope that someday, we will both become a better person as one.

"WHY I CREATED MY BLOG"

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Hi peeps! Some of you are probably wondering why I don’t just talk to my mom. I've tried that so many times, and like I have said, she refuses to listen to me or anyone in our family, because she’s in denial. That is why I created my Blog, because hopefully when she finds out that people supports me and thinks that I'm right, then maybe she will then realized it’s time to change her ways. Therefore, I hope that people will understand my point of view and give me moral support. See you all back tomorrow…..

SITUATION

This is where I'm currently staying temporary.

"SCAM"

Hello! My name is Dannyboy and this is my First time to BLOG. I want to learn how to "SCAM", because my mom is a frustrated gambler, and at this point of time she is heading the wrong direction that she might end up losing everything. She has already borrowed large amount of money from different people, and has already used her house as collateral just to borrow large amount of money, and sold one of her vehicle and still continuing to borrow money from individuals just to support her gambling habits and uncontrollable shopping spree. At some point she even has committed illegal activities for money, not knowing or caring that she has done something against the law.





That is why I want to learn how to "SCAM"!!!!!!! what is SCAM?

Sikapin

Controlin

Ang

Mommyko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



In English "MY ATTEMPT TO CONTROL MY MOM".

HOW? I need to rehabilitate my mom by;





a) Make her stop borrowing large amount of money from individuals just to support her gambling.





b) Make her stop doing illegal activities before she gets caught and get incarcerated.





c) Make her stop "GAMBLING"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





On June 30, 2008, I confronted my mom to discuss with her about her future and to wake her up from reality and to convince her to change. Unfortunately, she was so stubborn and refused to listen to me, because she has always been in denial.





We argued so much that day, because I kept insisting for her to change, but she refuses. If she won’t change and secure her future, what will happen to her? Who will suffer when she is so old and bedridden? Should I just let her be and let her continue her bad habits? What if she loses everything on her possession, just because of her bad habits of illegal activities and eventually gets caught?





A parent should know what is right from wrong. A parent should teach their children to set a goal for their future. A parent should be a role model. A parent should teach their children how to love. In my mom's case, I am the parent trying so hard to teach a lesson to a child.