"BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT"

I received an email from my aunt telling me to leave my mom alone and just let her realized herself her own mistakes. I said to my aunt, I’ve been there and done that twice with my dad, and I will not stand around and let her do that to her.

After my mom and dad got separated when I was 6yrs old, my dad work hard to build his own car dealership and we became rich by the time I was 9yrs old. We were living the good life back then and we had everything and my dad had famous friends. My dad never thought that he would have a down fall, because he was so confident that we will never go poor. Until, we started to lose everything, because he was a compulsive gambler, and we lost our house and my dad started to sell our possessions, until one day he had no choice but to sell our business. My dad owed money from banks and individual people, and he was devastated because we were going broke. So my dad decided to move to California USA to avoid being sued by the people he owed. So he worked hard as a car salesman until he became an area manager and my dad started to come up. One day my dad bought a big house and we were living the good life and he was so confident that we will never have a down fall again. Until one day, we lost our house and furniture’s because of his gambling habits once more. So we moved to another house that he rented, but that didn’t last long either. After a few months we had to move again, because he could not afford the rent anymore and he had no control over his gambling and he did not care about our future anymore. So he end up moving in with my aunt and grandmother and I decided to get married young just to start my own life away from my dad.

After my dad died and I had no luck in California anymore, I went back to the Philippines. I was then living the good life, but simple with my wife and daughters, and on the other hand my mom was doing well, living the good life almost similar to the life that my dad had before in the Philippines, because she’s a real estate agent and in construction business. I was glad the life that my mom has, but there was something wrong about my mom. My mom became a compulsive frustrated gambler since 2005. At first, I was doing nothing to stop her from gambling so she could enjoy her life, and because my younger brother was around to control her anyway. On Feb 5th, 2008, I got separated from my wife due to irreconcilable difference, so I moved in with my mom. It was then I realized and found out that my mom’s lifestyle was not right and she started to owed large amount of money from different people. I know that if she don’t wake up from reality and don’t stop gambling she will end up like my dad. On May 19th 2008, my younger brother died and my mom got even worst and still did not stop gambling and kept searching to borrow large amount of money from people just to support her gambling habits. We did not spoke to each other since my brother died, until one day on June 30, 2008; I had enough of her attitude. I spoke to her to try to change her life for her future and because enough was enough. I will not stand around again doing nothing about her attitude and gambling like with my dad when I was young and helpless.

I have learned a lot from my past and still teaching myself how to become a better person. Right now, my mom needs help that is why I’m doing my best to make her change to become a better person. By doing that, I’m also teaching and learning something for myself. I just hope that someday, we will both become a better person as one.