"TRAGEDY"

On March 7 2009, our tragedy strucked which caused the beginning for our relationship to go down spiral. We committed a crime that I regret of doing because it destroyed our relationship and I lost Marinel in my life. I am really stupid for getting Marinel involve, and I am really done with committing crimes, because I cannot afford to loose someone again or to get someone in trouble again.....

When Marinel got detain and I was able to escape, I was so mad at myself and I felt so sorry for Marinel and I was really really really stressed out. This is the first time that this happened to me and It tortured my mind, because Marinel had to suffer. At first I wanted to surrender myself, but If I surrender, who would raise the money for us to bail us, and who would send us money to help us get through each day????? I was already devastated for our situation and for being apart from Marinel. I did not know what to do at first, but I came to realized that I had to focus and try to find help. I then began to reach out to people I know and to some of my relatives to beg for money so I could raise the money I needed to bail out Marinel and to compensate our victim who almost died, because I shot him five times. I really regret everything and I came to realized that I was wrong and because I was facing the consequences.

I cried every day and night, I did a lot of thinking and I did a lot of traveling, I could hardly sleep and I could hardly eat worrying about Marinel. I went to Quiapo church, Baclaran church and Santa Clara church begging to forgive me for my sin and help me find help for Marinel. I did not care for myself, because I only care for Marinel. It was my obligation to save Marinel that is why I did not care if I had to kneel down and cry in front people asking for help for Marinel. I continued to travel every day to reach out to people even If I had to travel far. I even tried to sell my land that I inherited from my dad as soon as possible, but I had problems on doing so because there are a lot of things that needed to be fix with my land involving paper works before I could sell it or mortgage my property.

I was having a hard time raising the money and Marinel got mad and she began to loose hope on me. She thought that I was doing nothing to help her get released and that I abandoned her. The cops brained wash her to turn her back on me and she began to treat me like shit and she curse at me and told me to stay away from her and told me that she has a new boyfriend. It broke my heart so much to hear a lot of things from Marinel which tortured my mind so much and I wanted to just kill myself for what had happened to our relationship. I decided to just forced myself to just accept the facts and bare with her because she would not be in that situation if it wasn't for me. I could not forgive myself and I kept blaming myself, so I continued to find help before Marinel completely turn her back on me.

People suggested that I should just forget about Marinel and save myself and leave the country. But, I did not listen to anyone, because I love Marinel with all my heart and I could not even bare of turning my back on her and leave her hanging. I don't care If I had to risk my life just to save Marinel, because I am ready to die just for Marinel if I have to. For me my life is worthless without Marinel and I don't care for anything except to get Marinel back into my arms. If god will blessed me and send Marinel back into my arms, I will be the most happiest person on earth and I will thank God for answering my prayer. I just hope that Marinel is really my destiny.......